EFFING THE INEFFABLE

Someone asked me about the difference between following and backseat driving, and I think it's a fun opportunity to swerve over from a dance metaphor into a driving one.

Backseat driving is where...

When he's off-beat, I stay on-beat.

This is one of many instances when great following means not following the leader. The leader's authority is governed by his harmony with the larger...

The purpose I choose to assign my relationships is one of play.

I've tried out other purposes, and they're just not that great.

Play is the thing that people are doing when we think "oh, they're so...

I was raised to understand that I was a brilliant child.

The potential that adults saw in my intelligence led them to offer me many opportunities.

Also I was obnoxious and annoying and intolerant...

The anxious-avoidant dynamic is a failure of compression and stretch.

In dance, if your partner leans away, you need to lean away to come into stretch.

If your partner leans in, you need to lean in...